Breaking Down LA on Lock Reviews (AKA ... Where are the 1 Star Reviews)

Post written by LA on Lock Blogger Travis Erwin

Over on the Official LA on Lock Facebook page, a reader recently dropped this comment in response to one of our posted reviews …

“Which albums have a 1 out of 5 rating?”

That comment made us collectively smile, but it left me thinking about the perception of what we do, and how we do it. There are three of us that review songs and each of our tastes are a little bit different, as are our individual process, but good music is good music and our mission is to help artists find more listeners for their deserving work.

So speaking only for myself in this piece, I am going to break down my review process.

I give virtually every submission at least 90 seconds to grab me before I issue a mental rating (I only give actual scores for those that will be featured on the blog) of the song on a scale of 1 to 5. The exception to that 90 second rule would be when there is a glaring issue with the production, or something painful.

Yes, I said painful which brings us to our lowest possible score.

1.0 AKA … Somebody PLEASE HELP!

Thank the Lord, I don’t see a lot of tracks that fall here, but the ones that do are complete misses. The production quality sounds like it was recorded on a vintage Boombox in the bathroom of a Super 8 Motel, the vocals are pitchy, flat, or monotone, and the lyrics a jumbled set of MadLibs gone bad.

For my (private commentary) I would suggest they find a professional to help them with production and work on writing songs that mean something to them so they can impart more into the delivery.

1.5 AKA … Two out of Three is still pretty bad.

Maybe the track does have a quality sound to it, but the vocal, musical, or songwriting talent is still not there. Maybe they have talent, but bad writing and production. You get the idea.

(Still privately) I would praise that area of strength and then pick one or two areas that did not work for me. Maybe ask for more emotion or cite the place lyrically where it fell apart for me.

2.0 AKA … Something is still glaringly wrong.

Art is objective, but you can still not like something and yet understand it has merit for others. However this rating means we still are not there. Above here, subjectivity comes into play but sometimes I hear tracks that have talent, great writing, and still sound like they were recorded in that Super 8. Or I hear the voice of an angel, finely recorded, and singing what amounts to the Barney theme song.

As a novelists, and fiction writer, I’ve had those sobering critiques and rejections where an editor points out a glaring misstep for me. These are the reviews that make you grow and I’m proud to say I don’t get them now that I have gained experience enough to look out for such pitfalls. I hope to do the same for the artists I review and when most of it is good, but there is one bad egg in the bunch I try to put it fairly bluntly (still privately) while still citing the things I did appreciate.

2.5 AKA … Maybe it’s just me, but probably not.

We’ve hit the halfway mark in the LA on Lock grading system and honestly the majority of things I hear falls in this category or the next. These are the songs that show promise and talent, but don’t quite reach their potential. For the ones that land here it is probably a bit more than personal taste, but that is certainly a factor.

My still private commentary would mention that they are close, but there was still that last little bit of something lacking for me. A spark, a resonance, a few missed notes or a jarring line in the lyrics that shook me out of my attachment.

3.0 AKA … There are plenty of fish in the sea.

This is my cutoff. Everything above this mark earns a feature on the blog so these are still viable songs, but not necessarily my songs.

I often remark that if this track came on while I was listening to a playlist I would not skip it, but neither would I add it to my own list. The very best songs break through personal preference, pet peeves, and temperamental moods, but these are the near misses that can’t quite overcome such things for me.

3.5 AKA … It’s complicated.

Pinpointing why a track lands here is tough because the reasons ares varied, but converting our 5 point scale to a traditional grading system and this category earns a 70% which means there is definitely more good than bad and that is why every song from this point forward makes it to the blog.

Probably, I loved one single element and was okay with the rest of things. That said, bad production never works for me. I’ve heard flat vocals that the lyrics and melody carried. Or a beat and rhythm that cannot be denied even though the song said very little and virtually every other combination of that factor. This is often the score I give such tracks.

I scale back my criticism just a bit because for the first time the comments will be seen publicly and I feel it is our job to cite the best elements in a track to help artists find their audience rather than to dissuade a would-be listener by my judgment. These are good songs, worth a listen and while I might have longed for a bit more in one element, the next listener might find beauty in that flaw. Like that cute little freckle on your girlfriend’s earlobe.   

4.0 AKA … Everything but the chips.

I’ve never liked the saying … She’s all that and a bag of chips, because frankly chips are salty and not good for your health. Wait a minute, that also describes a few of my exes. Finally I get it. But I digress.

These tracks are rock solid. Nice production, talented vocals, no glaringly bad lyrics. They have it all except that extra little finisher. That is not to say everyone will love these songs because art is still subjective and things hit different for every set of ears, but no matter how you stack your chips these tracks have value, and for some these tracks may have the personal resonance to lift it into the next category.

Again my public commentary will be positive with no mention of any shortcomings. I try to give the listener a sense of what to except regarding genre and style with a taste of the song’s intent.

4.5 AKA … Lay it on me.

Sticking with the chip theme, I can’t stop at one … listen that is.

These songs are not only quality, but have that bit extra resonance for not only myself, but a larger slice of society. Songs that truly say something, and do so beautifully. The emotion is tangible and real.

My commentary here is glowing and appreciative. These tracks venture from the predictable and make me think or explore ideas and emotions and I try to touch on that in the reviews if I can do so without tipping off the hook or emotional payoff. In those cases I try to get out of the way and let the listener discover for themselves. 

5.0 AKA … Straight outta Hogwarts.

Don’t tell me magic isn’t real, because the right piece of music has the ability to take you back in time … make you feel that heart racing taste of first love … conjure smells of grandma’s kitchen.

The right piece of music speaks to your heart, soul, and brain all at once. The right piece of music is pure magic.

I rarely use this score and truth be told when I do it is because a track that might otherwise be a 4.5 has a strong personal reference for me. Or because it shocks me with its beauty in songwriting and in performance. In other words, I feel every word.

When I write this review there will be no doubt that I have stars in my eyes and a flutter in my heart.